Criminal excuses

Ok, I don’t blog about my job that much because frankly, a big part of it sucks. I do civil defense work, which I love, Plaintiff’s personal injury, which is all right, and some criminal defense, which is the bane of my existence. But, it does generally put me in contact with the, let’s say, most INTERESTING people. I’m not sure how this kind of person is created. We do appointments (which basically means people don’t have the money to hire a private attorney so the court appoints one to them), and so most of the people don’t have jobs. Now how do you exist if you are in your 20s and don’t have a job? I can’t even fathom that but I guess that’s why they need a lawyer. I’m constantly amazed at the able bodied young men and women who have no discernable job or source of income.

Anywho, the point of this blog was to give some of the better excuses I’ve heard as to why someone was arrested or commited a crime.

-I didn’t hit him, I threw a book and he walked into the path of the book and it hit him in the head.

-They gave me what I thought was an Advil and it knocked me out and the next thing I knew I was driving to the place where they wanted to break in and then they broke in.

-Well, my son stole these tools from beside a dumpster but everyone does it! (Uh, I don’t do it…but I guess that’s beside the point).

-those cops are out to get me. Look at my record, they keep arresting me for stuff. (stop committing crimes and maybe they won't harass you)

-He can’t remember who beat him up because he passed out so how are they gonna prove it was me? (scary that this is a valid point)

Don’t you want my job??